New Year's Resolution 2006: Try to be more tolerant.

I was trying to reflect and evaluate so that I could come up with an attainable New Year's resolution. Instead of evaluating my own short-comings that I might be able to focus and improve upon, I found myself analyzing my most vexatious pet peeves. If you know me, you know that these vexations come out very often mostly in the form of unspeakable curses and highly sarcastic banterings. Only my closest friends hear these curses and banterings. I try not to subject strangers to them as I must keep up the appearance of "Sweet Reagan".

-Not calling when you say will. This most irritating blunder is most often committed by men, more to the point, men of romantic interest. In other words, guys you're dating. I have no idea why they feel they must do this on such a regular basis, but I can't think of anything more annoying or so basically disrespectful as this one. In my opinion, it's a lack of respect for my time. It's all very simple, if you say you're going to call at a certain time or when you get home, do it. How hard is it?

-Not being somewhere when you say you will and not calling to update me of the change in plans. This one is very close to the previous one and again, very basic respect for my time. If you say you will be done with what ever you are doing and we can meet after that, and then don't bother to call to tell me plans have changed, expect me to return your lack of respect.

-Not calling to make an appointment. Unfortunately, I have to deal with this one very often in business. I have a very busy office and I absolutely love when tenants just show up to have a pow-wow about whatever strikes their interest (sarcasm). My first question is always, "Do you have an appointment?", only because I know what's coming next. They ask for the manager, who in turn tells me she's too busy with reports or leases or whatever, and then I go back to the tenant and ask them to email her or call her to make an appointment. More often than not, it's something simple that I can help them with, but they always insist on bothering the manager with it. I don't see how the poor woman doesn't have a nervous breakdown. Again with the disrespect for other people's time.

-Smacking your gum or food. I've discovered this one most recently. I cringe around people who do this. It's right up there with scratching your nails across a black board. I go into an anxiety attack when they get right next to me and do it in my ear while trying to carry on a conversation. It's so distracting; I can't even concentrate on the conversation at hand. Somebody please get me a razor blade (for myself)!

-When people try to talk to me while I'm on the phone. It's even more frustrating when both people are trying to tell me something important that I should really be listening to. I assure you, I can multi-task, but why not just wait your turn.

Trust me there's more, but I won't bore you with it anymore. So in analyzing my thoughts on these few pet peeves, I've realized I need to try to be a little more tolerant (I thought I had been). Oh sure, when these things happen, I don't by any means fly off the handle and go psychotic on the poor souls. I keep my cool and try to talk myself into understanding that this is just how most people are: Completely unaware and clueless.

Damned tolerance.

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Coughing up a lung and blowing my brains out of my nose.

Sorry I haven't been posting. I've been sick for 7 days now and the couple of days I've been able to make it in to work, I've been slammed trying to catch up. Thank you 40-day flood. Even better, I've been spreading my holiday cheer via a severe cold infection to others as well. Joy, joy, blah, blah, blah. How do ya like me now? Thank God Christmas is almost over. Now I've only got 1 day left to get my shopping done.

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

NOTE TO SELF: Do not leave the office during a 40-day flood.

My quick bite with Lunch Friend turned into a 2 hour cluster fuck! I pull the car into park, grab my coat to drape over my head (I have no umbrella and I think the coat will actually cover more of my body than an umbrella would anyway), and anxiously step out into the monsoon. I immediately regretted that step and even stopped 4 times to seek shelter under overhangs and contemplated running back to my car to call and cancel even though I was already soaked. By the time I finally made it through the front door of the restaurant, the entire back of my shirt, one sleeve, and all of my pants were completely soaked and literally dripping where I stood.

After much bitching and a little eating, I left lunch friend to try to go back home to dry my clothes before I go back to the office. I can't very well go back to the office in completely soaked clothes. God forbid getting home should be easy in this weather. Almost every street I turned on was blocked by too many cars attempting to cross deep waters or the water was too deep for me to even attempt to cross. AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!

I finally make it home, throw my clothes in the dryer, and go to the bathroom to re-straighten my hair. 30 minutes later, I'm driving back to the office. Why is it that when you are in a hurry, you catch every single red light in your path?

I should have known by that first phone call today, that the day was going to turn out this way. YUCK!

Now I've got to go fight traffic again to go to one of the other properties to host our Tenant Holiday Party. Chalk this entire day up as El Crapo!

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Someone got bit by the Bitchy-Poo Bug today.

And I thought I was a scrooge ...

"Blah, blah, blah. This is Reagan, can I help you."

"This is Maria in suite 500. Can you please tell the tenant in suite 510 next to me to turn their Christmas light off at night?"

"I'm sorry, is there a problem."

"Well, I just think it's a fire hazard. They have decorations on there too and the lights could get too hot and cause a fire. My office is right next to their's and I have important documents in here."

Predicting her next comment, and knowing fullwell that we keep our Christmas lights on in the lobby and the owner is not going to take her demand request to heart, "I see."

"I think the whole building should turn their decorations off at night. Don't you think it's a fire hazard?"

"Well, I just don't see how it's any different than everyone having their lights on all day."

"Well, there are people here all day. If a fire starts, someone will smell the smoke."

"We have a sprinkler system set up in all of our buildings that is triggered by smoke and also alerts the fire department immediately if it makes you feel any better."

With a distinct tone in her voice now, "Well, I guess if you don't think it's a fire hazard, then I just won't worry about it anymore then."

"I'll definitely relay your message to the property manager and let her know about your concerns. Have a great day."

I expect that I will be getting a phone call from city inspectors today.

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

No time to stop and smell the roses.

My weekends always seem to fly by me way too fast lately without me ever feeling like I had a chance to relax and enjoy the time and events. Bummer.

I think things may work out in the relationship department. As I said before, sometimes people need a profound event to occur to force them to reevaluate their priorities. Time will tell.

I spent a total of 6 hours last week searching for the perfect dress for a function that I spent 2.5 hours at. You do the math. I wish the holidays would hurry up and end. Could I be more of a grinch?

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Holy El Nino!

It's effen cold outside. A friend of mine said a friend of hers called her from Chicago or New York or something like that yesterday and said that it's colder here than it is there. What the Hell is going on here? Ok, now that we've gotten past that ...

Sass and I have at least one fan. Zombie Lama apparently has a feature that he tries to do weekly, "Hottie of the Week". Well, he's chosen Sass and I this week and I couldn't be more flattered. I feel like a total celeb. Do you often find yourself walking around slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead and screaming, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Addictions of a Reality TV junkie.

Oh, I know it's been killing you waiting for this post this morning. Yes LFC, I watched Project Runway last night. It was ... er ... uh ... interesting? I just have one question ... Are all male fashion designers gay?

Is Andrae' a fashion designer or a drama queen? What was up with his answer in that last segment. I don't think anyone understood what the Hell he was trying to say. Please Andrae', speak hetero just for two seconds please! I'm not sure if he was just stressed from the time-crunch or trying to destract the judges from the fact that his garment wasn't complete.

Chloe is cool, mostly because she's from Houston. Oh, plus she's talented. LFC says she's got a store here. I think I'll go check it out!

I actually like Daniel. I didn't watch last season so I don't know what his history is with the show. But I like his work. I love the tailoring and I think it's a very sophisticated look. You have to be a perfectionist to get it right, and I think he's got that down.

I'm a little worried about Diana, poor little geek. Her audition garment was badass (with the camera and the wireless heart-rate monitor). That was highly inventive and impressive. But the piece with the magnets didn't work. If it doesn't work on the runway, isn't it just sort of an embarrassment? I do look forward to seeing what she comes up with.

Heidi ... I didn't realize it was possible to be endearing and irritating at the same time. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty ... FUCK, SHUT UP!!!! The accent, southern charm, and positive attitude were fabulous. But then she got nervous and started talking way too fast and couldn't stop saying the word "pretty". I wanted to scratch my eardrums out!

I felt really bad for Kirsten. I totally would have rocked that outfit. I think they were pissed that she didn't follow their instructions. But quite frankly, I think I would have made the same decision she did about the scarf. That was just too personal. You don't destroy a family heirloom and the scarf wouldn't have done the garment piece justice if she would have used it anyway.

Marla's designs are a little too new-wave-futuristic for my taste. But I am looking forward to seeing more of her work.

I'm not sure Zulema has what it takes to compete with this group. As long as she doesn't screw up as badly as she did with that dress (no it's a shirt, no it's a dress, no it's a shirt), she'll probably make it to about the middle of the season. But I think her ego is bigger than her talent.

My top picks at this point are Santino, Nick, and Emmett (what are yours?). Granted I'm pretty simple and mainstream in my fashion sense, so what the Hell do I know anyway. All I know is I need a reality TV fix, so I guess this one will be it this season.

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Bah-Hum-Bug!

I'm such a scrooge. I really loathe the holidays. The only things I like about them are the days off work, the food, and seeing my friends and family more. I'm on a strict diet and workout routine so I can't even enjoy the food without feeling the guilt in the gym the following day. To make matters worse I'm dealing with a lot of adjustments and losses in my personal life right now. Let's recap on what I'm looking at over the next few weeks:

-4 holiday mandatory work parties with no date on my arm.
-A minimum of 5 holiday social parties (with no date on my arm) that I'm 99% positive I'll be able to get out of with my I-have-to-work excuse (it's true, I promise).
-A minimum of 5 holiday social parties (with no date on my arm) that I can't get out of.
-Fighting Galleria mall traffic at least 5 times to buy party dresses and Christmas gifts.
-Driving at least 4 hours total for the trip home for Christmas dinner.
-Working out at least 30 hours over the next 3 weeks to counter all the food I'm going to consume.
-Working through New Year's Eve since I no longer have plans or even a date to kiss this year.

I'm sure there's more that I'm just not considering because I'm trying really hard to see "the bright side" of it all (really, I am). Would someone please take me to see the Nutcracker so I can try to find some holiday spirit? I promise I've been a good girl this year, Santa!

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Too little, too late.

What you did last night was over the top to say the least. But I found it to be extremely passionate and romantic. It's a real shame I couldn't capture your attention so profoundly until now. It's even more of a shame that you are continuing with the exact behavior that has brought us to this place, which tells me your actions and words last night were less than sincere.

I hate second guessing myself. I hate even more being right about such hurtful events as these.

What you have to understand is that life is so much shorter than you think. You can loose the things that are most precious to you in an instant. You are never guaranteed tomorrow. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's so true. Sometimes people need a profound event to figure that out for themselves. I hope that you are learning to appreciate that now. The next time you find something that makes you feel that good, don't ever take it for granted again. Grab it and hold on to it for dear life. Yes, you may get hurt, or you may find that it completes your whole life.

No matter what I hear or what happens between us, I will always love you with my whole heart. Be happy and take care of yourself.

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Thank you Brooke.

I miss you! Well said ...

"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there … to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them; you know that every moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful, or unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential strength, will power or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of our soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. And that can be the lonliest place in the world. Create your own life and then go out and live it."

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

Random Friday thoughts for the sake of blogging.

Well, yesterday, I accomplished absolutely nothing. My boss was out sick all day, and since I'm the only other person in the office at the moment, I chose to be a complete slacker. Sounds heavenly, I know, but I'm paying for it today. My desk has about 6 different huge piles of paperwork that I'm sorting through as you read. I just found a congratulatory certificate for successfully completing my 90-day probationary period with my company (doh, hope my boss doesn't read this blog before she completes my review), which entitles me to 8 whole hours of vacation! Sounds minute, but this means I am now eligible for benefits! For those who don't have medical or dental insurance, you can appreciate how much of relief this is.

---

I'm shutting Reagan's Closet down. I just don't have time for it anymore, what with the two other jobs that I'm currently holding right now. I work 7 days a week. It definitely keeps me busy, which is what I need right now. And it keeps me from spending the phat cash I'm making on anything other than paying off my debts, so I guess that's good too. So, say goodbye to Reagan's Closet, at least for now.

---

I have something to look forward to this weekend, which is a nice change of pace for me. I'm sure I'll have stories for you next week. I want to thank those who are commenting with supportive schemes of dog-napping and words of wisdom on break-ups. I do appreciate it. These things just take time I guess (and lots of hugs).

Now, get back to work!

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!

I'm a creature of habit.

I woke up this morning from an almost sleepless night and thought to myself, "What just happened over the past 2 weeks?" I've been walking around for the past several weeks in a daze of denial and most recently, disbelief. I've just been dumped, or was it mutual? ... I'm still really confused about the whole thing? I sort of knew it was coming, but it still hurts and frustrates the hell out of me just the same. Let's make the situation worse ... WE LIVED TOGETHER!!! Oh, not enough? Well, try this ... Thanksgiving day was our 3 year anniversary. THREE YEARS! I've got several friends who have met and gotten married in the last three years. No, that's not enough ... here's the icing for this cake ... HE WON'T LET ME HAVE MY OWN DOG!!! I begged him for 6 months to let me have a dog. He finally gave in when I compromised on a breed I knew he'd love, a cocker spaniel. Now that he's grown close to the dog, I no longer have rights to him. Ain't that some shit!?

Funny thing is, his mother (of all people, how ironic) sent me this story about a month ago. I've known for a very long time that this relationship probably wasn't going to work. Aside from the fact that I love him more than I love myself, I'm a "fixer" in every aspect of my life (work, family, friends, love). I see something is wrong or not working the way it should and all I can do is think of ways to fix it. And I'm neurotic about it. I loose sleep at night until I get it fixed. The problem comes in when others involved aren't ready to participate in the fixing.

So, I've realized that my single worst habit is staying in relationships that I shouldn't for way longer than I should. I've done it with every single one of them. So yes, I'm the idiot fool who should've turned and ran as fast as I could 2 years ago when I first started to realize that he wasn't the kind of person I thought he was and that he was never going to love me the way I loved him. No seriously, I'm not blaming him for anything at all. And I won't sit here and spill out all the nasty, sleezy things that I found over the past 3 years because it's nobody's business but ours. Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed that I knew about all these things and still kept trying to make it work. And I'm not going to whine about how crushed I am because I hate fucking whiners! By whiners, I mean people who cry and complain about how shitty their situation is but never get off their butts to do anything to change it for whatever excuse they can come up with to make themselves sleep easier at night. Well, don't worry, you'll never see me cry about this. Do I sound bitter?

So happy fucking anniversary baby! Thanks for the hard lessons. I hope it was all worth it. I'll try really, really, really hard to remember the good times. I'm sure you've already begun with your adventures to get over "us".

---

I said before there were about to be some big changes. Well, I'm trying to get a new blogger template finalized. I'm having some trouble tweeking it because I had to teach myself html, so I admittedly have a lot to learn. If anyone wants to volunteer to help me figure out what I'm doing wrong, feel free to email me! ;)

Sign my Guestmap & my Guestbook PLEASE!