Spending Sunday sipping champagne at the Hotel Zaza pool.

Just the sound of it escaping my lips brings back the memory of warmth, sounds of waterfalls, and sweet tastes. I had a really hard time convincing myself not to take BFF’s suggestion of lying to my co-workers about my car breaking down so that we could enjoy another crazy night in the big D. I had an absolute blast. I definitely did not want to come home. As I’m soaking up the sun, contemplating the lie, I decided to make a conscious effort not to take life so seriously anymore. I think that may be a big contribution to my faults. I’ve noticed that a lot of people that live life so carefree have all of their dreams realized or at least within arm's reach. I just have to be careful not to cross the line into irresponsibility. I don’t think I could do that even if I tried though, and I’ll tell you why…

BFF and I had this deep conversation over bottomless mimosas on the terrace (that’s how all deep conversations should take place). I was describing my dysfunctional childhood to her as she described her perfect one. We concluded that A) due to her mother’s need to shelter her as a child because she was sheltered herself, coupled with the fact that she’s never had to deal with death or loss in her whole life (all of her grandparents & parents are still together and alive) directly contribute to her over-sensitivity for every living being on the planet. She has a fear of loss. She doesn’t know how to handle it. Apparently she has panic attacks even if she sees a dead animal on the side of the road. B) due the fact that I was forced to take on the mother role for my younger brothers at the age of 12 until I left home, that role still carries on in my life today with my close friends. It probably also contributes to my high tolerance and patience level for being taken for granted by people that I love (that doesn’t happen often, but I’ve let it happen more times than I care to admit). I’m always the strong one that has everything planned out and takes care of everyone else before I take care of myself … the responsible one. So, that’s just how I’m built, irresponsibility is not in my nature. Hence, the conscious effort … don’t take life so freakin seriously.

Good times baby! By the way, Mel placed second and qualifies for Nationals! We'll be planning that trip shortly!!!!

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