Ode, From A Daughter To Her Father

You gave me the twinkle in my eyes,
The quirky way I smile and the shape of my mouth,
The heart on my sleeve,
The slender and length of my body, fingers and toes.
You gave me life.
I adore you.
We all do.

You gave me many happy memories,
Of dancing on the tops of your feet as a tiny little girl.
I looked up at you with giggles of joy,
As you held me up steady and strong.
You led me through my innocence.
I adore you.
We all do.

You taught me to ride horses.
You taught me to drive.
You helped me through grammar and arithmetic as best you could.
You guided your baby girl through to my independence.
You were strong as I shed my innocence.
I adore you.
We all do.

You encouraged me through boot camp,
As I began to make my own way in life.
As I lay there in that hospital bed half dead and barely alive,
I saw you cry like a baby for the first and only time.
You were my lifeline into adulthood.
I adore you.
We all do.

You were supportive, but firm when you needed to be.
You were so protective even though you didn’t need to be.
You nursed me through so many heartaches.
You gave me so many loving words of wisdom.
You are a major part of why I am the woman I am today.
I adore you.
We all do.

I’m grown now and ready to start a family of my own.
I look back at what I’ve learned from you,
And what I can teach my own children when they are born.
Love, compassion, generosity, strength, independence, dignity, integrity, honesty …
You taught me all these things and so much more.
I adore you.
We all do.

In case you didn't know ...
I love you daddy.

6th time’s a charm … ?

My dad is getting married … again. If you count the two times he married the same woman (the last time, I was strongly against), this will be his 6th marriage. My dad has the biggest heart of any man I have ever met in my life. Obviously, he’s made some bad choices in his life, but I guess we all have. I've watched him learn some very hard lessons and grow from each of these relationships.

I’ve had some long heart-to-hearts and even cried with the woman he is marrying this time. She knows everything there is to know about my dad and our dysfunctional lives and accepts us all without judgment. He’s a really hard man to live with but very simple to understand. I have every confidence she “gets” him. And she is a very strong-hearted, levelheaded woman. She cherishes my little sister as if she was her own and the depth of her love for my dad is evident every time I see her look at him.

I think he may have finally found his soul mate. He's waited such a long time, endured too many heartaches, and deserves this so much. My prayers and wishes go out to both of them that they will both find their life’s dream of true love and happiness with each other for the rest of their lives.

I love you both.

Boredom breeds nonsense ... I think I'm getting dumber as the day goes by. When will the day end?!

Lucky you, two posts in one day! I’m just posting again because I’m really bored. I’m working a temp job for a commercial property management firm. Normally, the phone doesn’t stop ringing for two seconds. But for some reason this afternoon, I’ve been stuck here listening to the engineers’ maintenance babble on the walkie-talkie and emailing my friends to let them know I’m bored … not exactly entertainment. Although, the break is nice.

I guess I should be finding something productive to do, but it’s hard to stay motivated at a temp position, especially when you know you’ll be gone in a few days. Not that I wouldn’t love to take this as a permanent position, but I’ve been told that “they can’t afford me.” See my last post, apparently I’m asking for too much.

Anyway, I finally talked boyfriend into getting a puppy. I really want a tiny little doggie that stays puppy-size forever, and ever. But he says no toy dogs. Damnit! So I compromised with a breed I knew he couldn’t resist since he grew up with them, a cocker spaniel. So, I’ve been searching all over the internet for a specific color male in our price range and have only come up with one breeder in “Peaux-dunk” Louisiana. So, I’ve got to spend my entire Saturday driving from here to peaux-dunk and back just to see this puppy that I won’t be able to get home for another 3 weeks, at which point I have to spend another entire day going to get him from peaux-dunk (HA! I like this new version I’ve just invented). AGGGHHHH!!! The sacrifices! I know you’re dieing to see him. Trust me, he will make you melt! But, I’m going to keep you in suspense until I know for sure if he’s the one.

Jesus H, it sounds like I’m talking about the love of my life or something. EW, never mind, that sounded a little creepy.

Ok, I’m going to go now. This post sucks!

BTW, I’m going to update my favorite songs this weekend, not that you care. ;)

When It Rains It Pours ... Episode I

Ok, now that I’ve probably lost the only 2 readers I had, I guess I’ll start writing again. Sorry it took me so long. I was going through a little bit of a rough time for a few months, but I think I finally have everything under control again. Oops, I probably shouldn’t say that too loudly.

Have you ever noticed that when things start getting screwy in life, it snowballs so quickly and becomes so overwhelming that it’s hard to get a hold of it to get control again? I guess that’s what happened. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, it’s kind of hard to figure out where it started going wrong. I’m just incredibly thankful that I have such a supportive boyfriend and such loving and generous friends.

Let’s see, I think it started going wrong around February when I left my job. Basically, I left because I was being way underpaid for the position and realized there was absolutely no room for advancement. The funny thing about this position is that there was very little work to do. Now I know most people wouldn’t complain about this but, of course, I had to open my big fat mouth! My supervisor worked a total of about 30 hours a week, that’s less than part-time (32 hours/week), and was getting paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $45K/year. She was really nice and I liked her well enough as a person, she just wasn’t ever there, and when she was there, most of her workday consisted of internet shopping. She would leave in the middle of the day to “go to the gynecologist” (code for getting her nails or hair done, or pulling mommy duty with one of her young girls), come back after about 2 hours for an hour or so, and leave for the day by 3PM. Damn, I wish I had those hours with that salary. At any rate, it was all I could do not to call her supervisor and the company owner to inform them that they were wasting $24K/year on my position. They could have easily combined her position and mine to make a full 8 hour/day position! But then I guess I’d be shooting myself in the foot. With a workday like that, there is no way in Hell she will ever leave that position, which was my only step up the ladder in this company. So, I chose to resign with a statement that read, “I would gladly take on more responsibilities with the proper training for an increase in salary.” Instead of counter-offering me with the salary I wanted (a measly $30K/year), they let me resign, went 2 months with no receptionist (because receptionists in this city won’t work for less than $30K as opposed to the $24K they were offering), then finally raised the salary to $30K, WHICH WAS ALL I WANTED IN THE FIRST DAMNED PLACE! Bastards!

Stay tuned for more adventures and ramblings of the real Sweet Reagan, there's a lot more to come …