So close, so far away.
Life has a way of making me question everything around me and second guess every analyzation and decision I make on a daily basis. As much as I'd like for it to be simple, peaceful, and happy, it never really is. But I guess that's what makes it all so exciting. Where's my "Easy" button? I'm notorious for making bad choices and as a consequence, my life is full of regrets. I can give all my friends the perfect solution for their own problems, but I can't seem to get my own life where I want it or even on the right track. I'm not high maintenance and I feel like my needs are all valid and very reasonable. I'm the first to question otherwise. I couldn't live with myself if I felt like I was asking too much of someone.
So how do I keep ending up in this same exact place that I'm complaining about? Why can't I get there? You know the place ... that perfect place of existence where life is completely in balance with the right amount of challenge and success in work and time with perfect and loyal friends and family and topped off with that one great love that fills in whatever gaps are left to make your whole existence complete because they know you inside and out and can therefore, say whatever you need to hear at just the right time and never leave you feeling lonely. Am I really asking too much? Am I just dreaming?
I see it around me, but I can't quite grab on to it.
posted by My Life N Motion @ 3:54 PM
7 Comments:
You know, I find that if I look very closely at that "prefect life" I see around me, it's not so perfect. Mostly, those folks are just as unhappy as I am for the same reasons. Ironically, many of them seem to think my life is wonderful! Ha! If they only knew!!
But, no, I don't think you're asking too much. And, yes, I hope that you can get to that "sweet spot" in life where everything works just right. Because, after all, if you can do it, then there's hope that I can, too.
Alright Lovely i have a few things to say. The first and most important being that you already have that minus the boy - your still interviewing for that position.
I think you all misunderstood this entry. I am not focused on the love aspect of my life, although it would be great to get that in order. I want the whole package. I'm questioning a lot of friendships, and my job and how to get where I want to be in my career more than anything.
Let's do brunch soon to catch up.
Anytime baby!
Sunday?
Yeah, no, I got it. The "whole package" = "prefect life". At least, in my empty, little head it does.
The thing is our lives are never quite in order, never quite "perfect", at least, not until they're putting us in the ground. Then, it's all done and I'll finally be able stop worrying about all the stuff that drives me through my day. Until then, though, I just have to learn to live with the fact that I'm never going to be perfect.
Hmm, that sounded rather grim. Good thing I'm off to therapy tonight, I guess. ;)
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