No sleep for the weary.

AGRH! I got 4 hours of sleep last night. I have this thing where when I'm stressed about something or something is bothering me, I wake up at exactly 2:30 AM and can't go back to sleep. I almost want to go to a therapist just so that I can claim I have a mild case of insomnia or anxiety or something to get some freakin sleeping pills.

I thought this diary would help with the stress factor and I'd be able to get my thoughts out of my head so I could get over things faster. No such luck. I'm stressed partially because of money issues. But mostly because boyfriend and I have major "unresolved issues". For some strange reason, he has the idea in his head that just because he apologizes for "arguing" that the behavior/incident that started the argument is also forgiven and forgotten. Absolutely, positively NOT! Yea, you're forgiven for arguing with me, but you are not forgiven for what you did that started the argument, especially not until we talk (and I mean talk - not argue!) it out and you see MY point! But if I bring it up again, I'll be the one starting the argument and "wearing him out". I hate arguing. It's a waste of time and emotion, but it occurs when a person gets defensive and isn't open to the fact that they just might be wrong. Now, I have no problem with admitting when I'm wrong about something. And for the most part, even when I'm not wrong, I go out of my way to change whatever is bothering boyfriend so that the issue doesn't come up again.

(Light bulb flickering) SHIT! Maybe that's what the problem is. He's a spoiled, stubborn brat who thinks that because he's the man, he's never ever wrong. I guess this is my fault. Damnit, there I go again ... Now it's all my fault, NOT! Apparently, his training is working, if I can convince myself that his stupidity is somehow my fault. Maybe I'll be able to sleep now.